When we think of the word “strict”, the first thing that comes to our mind is parents who are uptight and too controlling. Strict parents will be constantly monitoring their kids, making sure they don’t break rules or spend time with friends. It might sound like an over-protective approach but it might help in many ways.
These types of parenting techniques encourage children to grow up into responsible adults by setting boundaries for them. These strict parents know exactly how much freedom their kids can handle and give them tasks that prepare them for the future rather than letting them live a momentary teenage life.
These parents also monitor their kids’ activities and keep a tab on where they go, who they spend time with, and what they do on the weekend. Sometimes, we call it “helicopter parenting.” And it’s not all too good.
What does it feel like to have strict parents?
I, myself, grew up with traditional, conventional, and strict parents. You can imagine how much I’ve cried during my youth to let me go out with friends. Even now at 31, I’d still feel their grappling hold on my neck.
“Gina kuga niyo ko!” (You’re suffocating me!) That’s often my retort. And, I would run away from home for a while or not answer their text. I do have thoughts that are already too improper to say on this blog, but, let’s go on with the post, shall we?
1. Parents who are too strict can be overbearing and make their children feel suffocated
Strict parents tend to be overbearing and make their children feel suffocated. They are often quick to anger and slow to forgive, which can lead to a lot of conflict within the family.
Strict parents also tend to be quite controlling, which can make it difficult for children to develop a sense of independence. As a result, strict parenting can have a negative impact on both the parent-child relationship and the child’s development.
While strict parenting may sometimes be necessary, it is important for parents to strike a balance between being too strict and being too lenient. By finding this balance, parents can provide their children with the structure and support they need without creating an environment that is overly repressive.
To the parents
Being a parent is a difficult job. You want to protect your children and instill in them the values that you hold dear, but it can be hard to strike the right balance. If you are too strict, you run the risk of being overbearing and making your children feel suffocated.
They may start to rebel against your rules and become resentful of your authority. On the other hand, if you are too permissive, you may fail to instill discipline and responsibility. It is important to find a middle ground that will allow you to nurture and support your children without smothering them.
2. They may be so focused on making sure their children do well in school that they forget to let them have fun
Here’s a secret (not-so-secret anymore!): If I do well at school, I’ll be gone for a week – without letting my parents know. Getting that 1.0 or 1.25 grade for the semester? Let’s play hooky for one week!
While it’s important for kids to get good grades, some parents often put too much pressure on their kids to succeed. This can lead to children feeling overwhelmed and stressed out.
It can also make them less likely to try new things or take risks since they’re afraid of not meeting their parents’ expectations. Instead of being strict, parents should try to strike a balance between encouraging their children to do well in school while also allowing them to have some fun.
This will help them to stay motivated and engaged in their learning, without feeling overwhelmed or stressed.
Maybe that’s why I rebel so much.
3. Children of overly strict parents may struggle to deal with failure or setbacks as they have never experienced them before
Many of my friends feel that parents often find that their children struggle to deal with failure or setbacks. While it is understandable that strict parents want their children to succeed, the reality is that life is full of challenges and disappointments.
By shielding their children from failure, strict parents prevent them from learning how to cope with adversity. As a result, when faced with a setback, these children may feel lost and unsure of how to proceed.
In addition, strict parenting can also lead to a sense of entitlement among children. When everything is handed to them on a silver platter, they may come to expect that they will always get what they want. This can be harmful in both their personal and professional lives.
Ultimately, while strict parenting may have some benefits, it is important to provide children with the opportunity to experience failure and learn from it. Otherwise, they will be ill-equipped to deal with the challenges of life.
4. They may not learn how to think for themselves or make decisions independently
While strict parenting may seem like the best way to ensure that children behave, it can actually have the opposite effect. When children are constantly being told what to do, they may not learn how to think for themselves or make decisions independently.
As a result, they may have difficulty making friends, succeeding in school, or even holding down a job. In addition, strict parenting can be emotionally damaging, leading to feelings of resentment and alienation.
It is important to strike a balance between firmness and support in order to help children grow into confident and successful adults.
Note: My writing career and Bata Ako Ph made me a better (successful) person today. I’m so proud of it, because these two are the main reasons why my parents keep shouting at me at times. In the early years, they’d be so dismayed whenever I write or decide to make my writing career a full-time living or occupation if you say so.
Yes, as with all parents, they were horrified to have their youngest write for a living. They want a full-time stable job like in the government.
To make matters worse, I launched my advocacy group and spent so much effort, time, and resources. They didn’t like it either.
But these two “ikigai” moments of mine led to a whole developmental and societal change in me – which freed the bonds of suffocation from my parents to lead a “normal” life. My writing career and my advocacy group has led me to think for myself and make decisions independently for myself and others (social welfare, kasi).
My writing career led me to pay our home bills also. Te, kaya man gali. Hipos man sila.
5. Strict parenting can lead to children feeling resentment and anger towards their parents which could damage the relationship
While it’s understandable that parents want to keep their children safe and on the right track, too much strictness can often have the opposite effect. When children feel constantly controlled and micromanaged, they often rebel in ways that can be harmful to themselves and their relationship with their parents.
To the parents:
Strict parenting can be a difficult balance to strike. On the one hand, it is important for parents to set boundaries and provide structure for their children. On the other hand, too much strictness can lead to resentment and anger on the part of the children.
This can damage the parent-child relationship and make it difficult for the children to express their own needs and feelings. It is important for parents to be aware of this potential danger and to try to strike a balance between being strict and being too permissive.
When strictness is necessary, it should be tempered with understanding and empathy. By doing so, parents can help to prevent their children from feeling resentment and anger towards them.
It’s important for parents to find a balance between being too strict and being too lenient – this will help their children develop into well-rounded adults.
Are there any positives: How strict parents raise responsible children
Strict parents are often misunderstood as being a little too controlling. But that’s where the difference lies. Controlling parents aim to control every aspect of their child’s life in a negative way.
Strict parents, on the other hand, aim to control their children’s lives in a positive way. These parents set boundaries for their children to grow up into responsible adults by setting rules and following them themselves.
They understand the importance of setting boundaries for their children so that they can grow up without having any regrets.
But, these types of parents know that not all children are the same and hence need different levels of freedom. While one child might be mature enough to handle the freedom of staying out late, another might need the safety of a 9-to-5 curfew.
Should they really be monitoring their children? Like 24/7?
Strict parents are often portrayed as uptight parents who won’t let their kids live their life. While there is some truth to that, parenting experts would tell you that monitoring your child’s activities is crucial in raising responsible kids.
As a parent, you have a responsibility to keep your child safe and make sure they have the best start in life. You can do so by making sure your child isn’t spending time with the wrong crowd.
You might think your child is hanging out with his or her friends but who knows if there are other children in that group who can influence your child in a negative way.
It ensures your child is spending time with the right people and is taking the right path in life.
But, no. Not 24/7, please.
5 ways strict parenting helps children grow up to be responsible adults
Strict parenting is often misunderstood as being too controlling and strict parents often face criticism for being too harsh. But strict parenting comes with many benefits for both parents and children. Below are some of them:
- Discipline – Discipline is a crucial part of parenting. Discipline doesn’t just mean spanking your child at the first sign of disobedience. Discipline means showing your child the right way to behave and correcting their behavior when they go astray.
- Boundaries – Setting boundaries for your child is another crucial part of strict parenting. Healthy boundaries help your child understand what’s acceptable and what isn’t in the family.
- Teaching responsibility and accountability – A parent’s primary duty is to raise a child. Raising a child is more than just feeding them and dressing them. Raising a child also means teaching them how to be self-sufficient. Strict parenting helps your child learn how to be responsible by making them do household tasks.
- Being prepared for the future – Strict parents don’t want their children to live in the moment. They want their children to be prepared for the future. Hence, strict parents make their children do tasks that will help them be prepared for their adult life.
- Spending time with family – Healthy family time is crucial for child development. Strict parents encourage their children to spend time with their family so that they can learn to become responsible members of the family.
3 things having strict parents taught me about being a responsible adult
As a child, I’ve witnessed how strict parenting is in my house and thought it was a bit unfair. But now that I’m an adult, I realize how important strict parenting really is. Trust me though; I still don’t like it, even well into my 30s.
Here are a few things that strict parenting taught me about being a responsible adult:
- Patience – You learn patience as a child growing up with strict parents. You learn to wait for certain things in life such as being allowed to go out with friends, get a car, or go on a vacation. Waiting is often necessary for life and strict parents make you learn that skill at a young age.
- Strength – Nobody likes being told they can’t do something. But strict parents often make their children do tasks that they can’t do. And if you choose to do them, you’ll be successful. Strength is an important skill in life and strict parents teach you that at a young age.
- To be forward thinking – While not every child growing up with strict parents’ dreams of becoming a visionary, strict parenting teaches leadership, creativity, and initiative skills to every child. It teaches you how to lead your siblings, friends, or family members and make them do what you want them to do.
Be wary though!
There are many benefits of strict parenting but the child might feel smothered by the rules and responsibilities. It’s important for strict parents to understand that their parenting style might seem a little too overwhelming for their child. Here are a few things that strict parenting can do to your child:
Anxiety – Growing up with strict parents teaches you to be responsible in everything that you do. But it can also make you anxious in certain situations where you don’t have control.
For example, strict parents often make their children take exams. Exams are a huge source of anxiety for most people and strict parents can make them more anxious by constantly reminding them that they need to perform well in the exam.
Rebelling – Rebelling against strict parents is a natural part of growing up and many children often do it. But strict parents often feel hurt and guilty when their child decides to rebel against them.
It’s important for strict parents to understand that rebelling against them is a part of growing up and it doesn’t mean that their child doesn’t love them.
Conclusion
There are some disadvantages of strict parenting like anxiety and children rebelling against their parents. Nonetheless, strict parenting comes with many benefits for both parents and children. It teaches children to be responsible and disciplined in everything that they do. It also helps parents to raise responsible adults who can take care of themselves.
