Nearly everyone has heard the term “inner child.” The idea is a younger, more innocent version of yourself that lives just behind the more jaded, experienced persona you show the world. It’s relatively easy to look at yourself and see the child you once were, watching you from the inside. It’s not as simple, however, to remember that everyone around you may just be a child in disguise as well.
This doesn’t mean the attendant at the gas station down the street is actually three kids in a trench coat hoping to trick you. Instead, you are likely dealing with someone who, like you, is doing their best in the world, professionally and socially. But this person is also someone sensitive and hopeful of learning the ways of the world.
How we’re this “inner child”
Everyone has their own life and their own experiences – handling things differently and has their own unique background. But the basic needs are all the same. Everyone still needs to eat, sleep, and socialize in their own way. Growing up may train people to be better suited to deal with these requirements, but remembering these basic needs can give you an advantage in social situations.
In the workplace
Most people have had experience working with other people from a young age in school. Some theorize that schooling was designed to prepare people for the workplace. When working on a project with a group in grade school, you likely realized that every member of the group had their own ideas about how the project should be done, not to mention the drama and distraction that comes along with putting kids together.
The world of the workforce is really no different. Each coworker has his or her own back story that affects the way they work and interact with people. Try to remember the compromises you had to make with your old school group to give everyone a say in the project. Take all ideas into consideration and work together to bring out the best of everyone.
That being said, they are not all-knowing.
It’s easy to think of your boss as the teacher in the classroom. They are the person in charge of you and your team. But, by changing the way you think of this person, you can positively affect the way you interact. Instead of thinking of your direct supervisor as your classroom leader, think of them as an older inner child who has already completed the stage in the curriculum you are currently working on.
Your supervisor should be someone who has already done the job you are doing now or at least has done something similar enough. That being said, they are not all-knowing. They have probably seen a lot of applicable things about the job and have learned a great deal about the work involved.
Keep in mind the idea that they are just a grade or two ahead of you. Let them help you out and don’t get too caught up in the power trip older kids can go on.
In friendships
You probably won’t find people threatening to stop being your friend because you won’t share your pudding cup anymore. However, your friendships are still very much like they were when that was a regular conversation. Your friends still want to feel accepted, just as you do.
They still want to have someone they can trust and have fun with. When your friends are hungry they will still greatly appreciate any help you can offer them. Offer to take them out for a meal and you’ll see.
You have different lives but you’re still working to keep each other as allies in this hectic world.
Life doesn’t allot as much time for playing outside with your friends or even long phone calls as it used to. But that social need is still prevalent. People want to stay in touch with the people they care about, even when they are busy. Feel free to send your friends a message now and then or even a letter. Try to remember their birthdays. Cut them some slack if they can’t respond right away. They probably want to but just can’t find the freedom.
Your friends probably still see you as a peer. You have different lives but you’re still working to keep each other as allies in this hectic world.
In relationships
No one wants to think of their romantic partner as their child. So, it may sound strange to hear that sometimes it’s okay to treat them like one. Once you get close enough to someone you begin to think of them as your family. You will see them at their best and at their worst. Your partner will try to be strong around you sometimes and other times they will break down completely.
As long as you can remain calm and try to work together as much as possible, you should find a groove that you can both comfortably work in.
Children often have a hard time with things that seem easy to adults. Maybe your partner just doesn’t understand your needs or can’t seem to do something you would like them to. Try to maintain patience. Maybe they just aren’t used to this kind of task and need to be taught, sometimes even more than once. The first few times you ask a child to do something you have to walk them through it step by step. Perhaps, patiently explaining exactly what you would like from your partner can help avoid misunderstandings in the future. Also, try to make sure they understand you’re willing to have them do the same for you.
Patience is key. As long as you can remain calm and try to work together as much as possible, you should find a groove that you can both comfortably work in. This does require effort on both sides, though, so be sure that you’re both willing to try.
The Inner Child in life
Everyone essentially has that inner child trying to make it in the adult world. That doesn’t mean they should be talked down to or need there hand held to cross the street every time. It all boils down to the idea that everyone is still learning.
There’s just too much knowledge in the world to expect anyone to be fully experienced. Remember that, be kind, be helpful, and keep learning. It can really go a long way.
